Happy Thursday!! I’m ridiculously excited for today’s post because today is the beginning of what will hopefully (few things pending) be a monthly feature here on Fitful Focus: The Boyfriend Chronicles.
I’ve talked about my boyfriend on this here bloggity blog, but now it’s time for you all to get to know the man behind the posts! Allow me to introduce you to my boyfriend, Will:
Ha! Just kidding. This isn’t Cinderella. My boyfriend is a real, live boy (shoot, was that another Disney reference? Looks like I need to sign up for another Disney race!) Meet the real Will:
Did some of you think I was dating a pig? Silly. Though I do see some similarities… I digress…
Will is Fitful Focus’ biggest supporter, and I’m pumped that he’s agreed to start a monthly series on the blog about what’s it’s like to date a blogger. There will be laughs, there will be tears (happy tears though, right?), and hopefully this won’t lead to the end of our relationship. Time will tell… Without further ado…
Hello there fit and focused friends of Fitful Focus, my name is Will – and I am a dog. Well, actually I’m Nicole’s boyfriend, but on most days I relate more to a few dogs from the late 1800’s than anything else.
You see, Nicole and I have lived together for the past two years in Brooklyn and, as such, have learned what’s necessary to keep each other happy. On my end, I’ve stood strong during the dark days of juice cleanses, supported any changes in diet, and watched while she’s conditioned for marathons. On her end, among many other things, she helps me eat better and makes meals for the two of us… or so I thought.
It certainly took a while for me to figure this whole scheme of hers out, but I’m telling you, it’s rock solid. What started as a gesture to make food for the two of us in exchange for my doing the dishes (which was a terrible mistake and will be a whole separate post in the future if I’m invited back) has seemingly turned into something else – a way to control me. Now in order to fully understand what I mean, I have to let you in on something I think most food bloggers can relate to, which is taking pictures of their food. What started as the occasional iphone pic, has turned into mystical ceremony of 24 megapixel culinary documentation. Pictures are taken, lights are adjusted, Barry Manilow oddly starts playing in the background, food is transferred to photography plates, filters are selected, reselected and selected again , *click*click*click* x50 aaaaannnndd we can eat. By this time my stomach is usually roaring louder than a Katy Perry song and I’m starting to salivate like Sylvester looking at Tweety.
She’s a smart one though, and since this is such a normal occurrence around dinner time, it took me a while to figure out how deeply she controlled me. Flashback with me to our 6 year anniversary this past September. For those who didn’t read the post, we went hiking in New Hampshire, and naturally, brought the camera – except this time, it wasn’t being used for food photography. Her momentary lapse of judgment exposed years of planning. “Will, let’s get a picture of us over here.” *click*
It was instantaneous and overwhelming. One click of the shutter and I was hungry….
I realized in that instant, I had been trained like a Pavlonian dog to be hungry when I heard the sound of the camera shutter. And by the woman I’ve grown so close to.
I stood in the woods dumbfounded and at a loss of words, like the audience who witnessed Miley Cyrus twerk at the VMAs. I stand there, in the same spot we just took a picture, opening a granola bar, pretending I hadn’t noticed what had just happened.
A million thoughts start pouring into my head:
“Does she know I’m onto her?”
“I don’t think she’s noticed.”
“Does Barry Manilow have anything to do with this?”
“Pretend you haven’t noticed, just pretend.”
By the time we reach the top of the mountain, Nicole has taken a hundred pictures of our hike, and I’ve powered through a box of granola bars and a turkey sandwich.
Now for those of you who are wondering who Pavlov is and what he did to some dogs in the late 1800’s, allow me to shed a cherub of light on a small piece of history known as Classical Conditioning. Basically, Pavlov was a Russian physiologist who noticed that every time he entered a room, his dogs would expect food and start salivating. After getting tired of mopping drool off the floor, he started an experiment that would later be developed into a concept known as Classical Conditioning. The experiment was simple, whenever he went to feed his dogs, he would ring a bell. After a certain period of conditioning, the dogs learned to associate the bell with food, and would start to salivate at the sound of the bell without any reference to food.
And thus, I am a Pavlonian dog. Nicole has taught me to associate the sound of a camera shutter with food. And as if that wasn’t enough to convince you, just look at this:
They’re practically twins.
So as a word of advice to all you readers out there who have a significant other who is interested food photography, a $2 set of earplugs can go a long way to keep you from relating to a 120 year old dog.
Have you ever felt duped by a loved one?
Nicole and Pavlov – separated at birth?
Side note from Nicole: Don’t forget to check out the Puritan’s Pride Seasonal Smoothie November GIVEAWAY! and link up with me tomorrow for Fit & Fashionable Friday!