Hello again fit and focused friends of Fitful Focus, or as we established last month, my homies. This month of The Boyfriend Chronicles is focused on something I’m probably going to get in trouble for writing about: the fact that I love when Nicole leaves for the weekend, haha. Before we get to that though, I’d like to give everybody a little update on how the “I’ll take some free stuff too, kthanksbye” post went.
Nowhere. Like with a capital “N,” haha. In thinking about it, I have a feeling my…uh… tangential (to put it mildly, haha) writing style probably isn’t the best for people who are trying to get some sort of message across about their product. I can just picture the poor marketing guy having to go to his boss after I write some post remotely mentioning the product that was supposed to be spotlighted. Like, “Look boss, he said he would write a great review of the product, but for some reason he wrote about Pavlov and how he doesn’t understand where burps come from. I.. uhh.. I’m really not sure what happened.”
By the way, you’ve all been incepted (a term I’m making up that references the movie Inception). I got off on a tangent in the paragraph above, and then WROTE about going on tangents. Most definitely dream within a dream material.
Now that I’ve opened up that old wound, poured some Morton’s sea salt in there, whimpered to myself for 5 minutes and wasted half a page talking about something unrelated to what this post was actually intended to be about, we can continue. But now I forget where we were… right!… I love when Nicole leaves for the weekend. Now, that comes across a little harsh, but I’m hoping at least a few of you can understand my perspective.
See, we live in Brooklyn, and pay way too much for a way too small apartment. What this means from a lifestyle point of view is a lot of together time. Believe it or not, we actually bought the couch I’m sitting on right now, SPECIFICALLY because it was big enough that we didn’t have to touch each other if we both wanted to lie down. In retrospect, the L shape was a bad choice because it means somebody’s feet are next to the other persons face if both people lie down and I’ll let you guess which end of the gym sock I’m usually on.
But seriously, when Nicole has weekends away, like this coming one where she’ll be going to the BlogFest in L.A., a small part of me (let’s be honest, a big part of me) gets excited. Not only does it mean some time alone to listen to music and chill, but it means I can eat pastaaa – mmmmmmm ($10 to whoever saw that one coming). Being with somebody who is gluten free and lactose intolerant makes it difficult to grab some linguine alfredo every once in a while. Now, I’m a pretty health focused person and fully understand that alfredo has about a billion calories (that’s a scientific fact, btw, I didn’t make that number up), but there’s something to be said for indulging every once in a while. For me, that’s when Nicole is away.
I’m sure there are a few of you out there who are reading this post thinking, “yeah, it’s about damn time (insert roommate/husband/wife/significant other’s name here) gets his/her ass out of the house for a weekend. I needs me some alone time” We’re all adults here, I know you all curse in your head, even if not out loud.
Well, that’s at least how I feel BEFORE she leaves. Seriously, the week leading up to a weekend alone is full of planning. What am I going to do? How does one cook linguine Alfredo? What’s the shortest route to the hospital if I give myself food poisoning? How long can I wear the same pair of boxers? How many episodes of Tila Tequila can I watch without starting to judge myself? This list goes on. But it all changes once they are gone for a day.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten excited for Nicole to take a long weekend for herself, just to sit in the apartment for 3 days, bored out of my mind because all my friends (lol, let’s be real, I have like 3 friends) were busy, waiting for her to come home like a lost puppy.
I’ve come to recognize this now, and have started to order excellent movies that Nicole would never watch with me, like Hot Tub Time Machine. Regardless, I’m excited for her to head out of town for her long trip this week but am simultaneously anxious about what it could mean for the last shred of sanity I’ve been curating for some time.
Oh, and party at my place this weekend – tell your friends.
Do you get excited to have the “house” to yourself?
What do you do when your significant other/roommate/kids are away?
What should the theme be for my party?