You trained hard, you picked up your bib and then come race day, you never get to the starting line. This is what it’s like to DNS a race.
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Today’s post was supposed to be a recap of the Syracuse Half Marathon, and well…I’m not quite sure where to begin writing this recap because I don’t have a race to recap. If you follow me on Instagram, you may already know that the Syracuse Half will forever go down in history as my first DNS (did not start).
I have so many mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I know skipping the race was the right thing to do, on the other hand the runner in me can’t believe I couldn’t just suck it up and earn that medal.
I suppose the best place to begin is the beginning.
I debated whether or not I wanted to share this on the blog, but I decided sharing this, like the details of my IBS, may end up being helpful for someone else. Fair warning, this post may not be for the squeamish or those of the male persuasion.
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it here on the blog, but I have a bleeding disorder called Von Willebrand Disease. Basically, my blood doesn’t clot as quickly as it should, so if I get a cut, it will bleed more before stopping. It hasn’t really been a big issue for me beyond the occasional long nosebleed and the fact that I bruise easily. I can’t take any blood thinners (so no Ibuprofen or Asprin), and I’m on the pill to help regulate my periods. Every now and then I get breakthrough bleeding or a slightly heavier flow (like I said, this post is not for the squeamish), but nothing I can’t manage. Of course, I wear a medical bracelet in case I ever get into an accident or need a big surgery.
Now that you have that background, let’s get back to the “recap”.
It all started on Thursday afternoon. I had to rush to the bathroom to take care of what I thought was just some breakthrough spotting. It was a bit more than I usually experience, but I pushed my worries aside.
On Friday, Will and I headed up to Syracuse. I spent the day meeting up with old college friends, but every 2 hours, I had to rush to a restroom to change my tampon. The amount of bleeding I was having started to concern me, especially because I had just had my period (usually, breakthrough bleeding happens if you miss pills – which I hadn’t – or are simply closer to your next period).
Saturday, things didn’t get any better. Will was urging me not to run the race, but I really didn’t want to do that. I called my OB/GYN and spoke to the doctor on call. She didn’t seem too concerned, but told me to come in Monday morning. She also told me I probably shouldn’t run. Ugh, what do doctors know?
Annmarie picked me up later that afternoon and we headed to Fleet Feet to pick up our packets. I got my number and eyed the medal I’d be hopefully receiving the next day. We then stopped to look the course map and chatted with a few other runners about the concerning weather. The polar vortex was coming and the forecast was calling for 20 degree temps, snow and up to 50mph winds. That didn’t sound fun, but as this email from the Syracuse Half Marathon organizers put it – bragging rights.
We took a few pictures in the fun photobooth…
… went out for a nice carb-loading dinner at Yum Yum’s Gluten Free Bakery and then settled in at the hotel to watch the Syracuse Men’s Basketball Team in the Final Four game (they lost – BOO!).
I admitted to Annmarie that I was nervous about running the race. With the weather in mind, I figured I’d be running slower than my normal pace, so I was predicting a finish beyond the 2:00 mark. I knew that I’d have to change my tampon every two hours, so unless I changed it RIGHT before crossing the starting line, I’d most likely have to stop mid-race. I don’t mind stopping to pee, but that sort of stop is a whole different ball game, especially in a porta potty on a freezing cold, windy day. I was also concerned about the amount of blood I’d lost. Would I have the energy to run? I was also starting to experience a constant dull pain in my pelvis. Was that in my head?
Despite all of my fears, I laid out flat Nicole, set my alarm or an early wake up and went to bed.
I was tossing and turning all night. I had to get up twice to change my tampon (very not normal) and was just worrying about the race and the weather and my health. When my alarm finally went off, my gut was telling me not to run. I was still bleeding, I was still having a constant dull pain, Will didn’t want me to run and the doc had told me not to run – so I finally made the call to pull out of the race.
It was hard. I felt like I was ditching Annmarie. I felt like I was throwing away my money. I felt like I was letting myself down. Was I being silly? Could I suck it up and run and finish the race and be fine? Maybe – but deep down, something was telling me to sit this one out, so, begrudgingly, I did.
Annmarie got bundled up and headed to the race without me. I headed back to bed, but couldn’t go back to sleep. When Will woke up, I told him I was bummed I missed the race, but I was also starting to really worry about my health.
I showered, got dressed and anxiously awaited Annmarie’s return.
When she came back, I knew for sure skipping the race was the right decision. She said it was miserable and dangerous. That at times she couldn’t see. Her feet were soaked with cold, icy water – I’d tell you more, but you’re much better off reading her recap.
She told me it was good that I missed it, which gave me a little relief. It certainly didn’t look all that fun.
photo taken from this video <— you have to watch it!
I packed up all my unused race gear and stared at the bib that never crossed the starting line. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, so it came back to NYC with me.
It’s been a few days now and I’ve accepted the fact that Syracuse was a DNS. I know it was the right decision, and like many of you mentioned to me on instagram, better to listen to your body and get a DNS, than push yourself and get a DNF. Thank you all for all your kind words.
As for my health, I went to my OB/GYN first thing Monday morning. I wasn’t able to see my usual doctor, but another doc was able to see me. She sent me for blood work and a sonogram.
All I know right now is that they saw something in the sonogram – they think it is either a blood clot or a polyp. I have to go back in once my bleeding stops for another test that should be more conclusive, and we’ll go from there. My doctor doesn’t seem too concerned, so I suppose I shouldn’t be either, but it’s hard not knowing exactly what it is and what it means. I, of course, went to Mr. Google and go freaked out by some of the things he was telling me.
Note to all: Do not Google your symptoms. EVER. For anything.
I know, easier said than done, but when it comes to your health, no good can come from Google.
I’m also on an exercise hiatus, which is very tough. The doc told me I can exercise if I feel up to it but to really listen to my body, and right now, I don’t know that I should be expending a lot of energy lifting heavy and running hard. I know taking care of my body is priority #1, but it’s really hard to not be able to do the things I love. I’m hoping I can do some light exercise soon, but meanwhile, I’m feeling pretty down on energy and mood. Debby Downer vibes to the max.
Thanks for bearing with me for this long post. If any of you have experience with dealing with either a DNS or any of these feminine-related issues, I’d love to hear your stories and words of advice.
And of course, I won’t leave you without the Wild Workout Wednesday Link Up. If you’re new around here, you can check out the full rules here. Add your posts below and share all your goodies with #WildWorkoutWednesday.
Let’s Chat:
Have you ever had a DNS?
Ladies – have any of you experience clots or polyps?
Oh Nicole that sounds so scary! Take care of you and rest up. A DNS is way better than negatively impacting your health. Hope you are feeling well soon. <3
Thanks, Christine! I’m pretty nervous about it, but I’m so thankful for all the kind comments here and reassurance that I did the right thing skipping the race.
Nicole there was a time 2 years ago where I wished I had listened to my body and not done a race but I was stupid and ended up with a stress fracture and couldn’t run for months. You made the right decisions there is always another race to do. You are young and you don’t want to do something that might prevent you from having kids at a later time. I wish more people would make smart decisions like this.s
Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner recently posted…Cherry Blossom 10 miler race recap 2016
You are so right, Deborah! That is my biggest fear at the moment. I’m just so anxious to get to the bottom of this.
Totally the right decision, but I do understand how hard it is to make the call. More importantly right now is your health! Take care of yourself and do what feels right (maybe light yoga?) all the best to you…please keep us updated! ????
Thanks, Michelle! I’m going to try some light exercise today and see how I do.
Exactly what Christine said, a DNS is absolutely better than putting your health in danger, although I can totally understand how bummed you must have felt to make the decision not to race. I would have also done it with a heavy heart if I were in your position. I hope you are starting to feel better now and I’m sending out good vibes for you!
On a side note: just looking at that photo of the race gave me the chills. BRRRR!
Thanks, Katie! As soon as I can run normally again, we’ll get together for a run 🙂
You did the right thing! It’s just a race and not worth the health risk. I hope they figure out what’s wrong with you and it’s an easy fix. That’s the worst! And NO… never google your symptoms! Yikes!
Julie @ Running in a Skirt recently posted…Mix it Up Outdoor Workout
Thanks, Julie! And yes – Googling is a bad idea!
I’m glad you chose not to run. I’ve had a few DNS in my past due to illness, and some where I did start and made it worse. I’ve learned my lesson for sure! I hope everything is okay, I’ve had my share of lady troubles to feel your pain.
Bri recently posted…Five things Friday: Getting strong, crappy runs and my new home office!
Thanks, Bri!
I’ve never had a Dns or a dnf but I do experience bleeding in between periods. I am not the pill. But do have spotting and sometimes lots of blood if I got for a run come back and I’m a mess. My doctor didn’t seem concerned as she told me I’m ovulating and this is a side effect for some woman but I only bleed if I run or do some vigorous exercise. I do have an appointment with GYN the end of May to figure out what else it could be. I want another opinion. I hope everything works out for you. Your health is the number one priority. Races will always be there. Prayers to you.
Thank you, Erin! I hope you get the answers you’re looking for.
I”m sorry you had to DNS–that had to be so hard–but it sounds like you made the right decision. There will be more races but you need to take care of yourself! I DNS’d one race–a half when I was in the boot with a stress fracture. Even tho I knew I couldn’t run it, it still was a tough decision!
Hang in there, and I hope everything works out!
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…Are You Brave Enough?
Thanks, Wendy!
So sorry that you had to DNS, but I think, as you have come to realize, that not racing was what was best. Seeing the pictures from the race was so crazy to me given that it is April and the weather is not at all supposed to be that cold and windy. Hope you hear back regarding everything and get better soon!
Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie recently posted…Black Bean Tuna Collard Green Wrap
Thanks, Brie!
You 100% made the right decision, I cannot imagine having to deal with the anxiety and fatigue you are dealing with on top of the horrendous weather conditions. I know it was an extremely hard choice but I am proud of you for choosing not to run- it was not worth risking your health! Lots of love <3 Thinking of you!
Annmarie recently posted…Syracuse Half Snow Storm Saga Race Recap
Thank you, friend! I know I made the right decision, and even though I know the race was cold and windy and yucky – I still kinda want those bragging rights!
It sounds like you did the right thing as your health comes first. There will be other races. Thinking of you as you go through this.
Thank you, Sandra! I hope you feel better, as well!
You made the right decision to DNS. The weather would have made everything worse and who know, you could also be dealing with a cold or other illness due to the weather if you ran the race.
I hope that you start to feel better soon!
Kimberly G recently posted…#MusicMonday – LiL Jon Edition
Thanks, girl! I just hope I can run Brooklyn now!
So sorry you had to DNS, know first hand how tough it is, had to for NYC last year. Hope you are feeling better and as a nurse who also researches every symptom, def don’t google symptoms because you will have yourself dead and buried over nothing, I know first had
Toni recently posted…Roasted Tomato, Crispy Kale and Farro Salad #NOWWellness
ugh yea – googling is never a good idea! I hope you can get back to NYC this year!
DNS are definitely tough but I 100% think you did the right thing. There will be other races and you haev to take care of yourself first. Plus yes you would have bragging rights but that race looked downright miserable!
Jen @ Pretty Little Grub recently posted…Sport Supplement Review: Creatine
So true – it did look miserable. I’m sure I would have just been worrying through the whole thing, too, which just would have made it more miserable.
I think you made the right decision to DNS… listening to your body is way more important than finishing a race! There will always be another race, but not another Nicole!
vicki recently posted…One Word… Strong
Thank you Vicki! That is a great great point!
Nicole I think you made the right choice also. Your health is way more important than any race. I am praying for you and hope that everything comes out normal. Hang in there!
Ivanna recently posted…Tips to help you lose the last 10 pounds
Thank you so much, Ivanna!
I’ve had to DNS more than one race. It always sucks, and I always waffle and delay making the decision because I want someone else to tell me what to do. The times I’ve done it, I know it’s been the best for me, since it’s always been because of injury. Yes, it sucks, but so does being injured for longer because I’m stubborn.
Even if I were perfectly healthy, I definitely would have considered bailing on the race given the horrible conditions. Yikes!
Ange // Cowgirl Runs recently posted…Nutrition Requirements for Runners: Protein
Right? I knew I probably shouldn’t run on Friday, but I couldn’t make the decision until right before. I needed my gut to tell me.
You made the right decision. Not even a question. I’ve had a few DNS’s and none of them have been fun. I was really sick for one (that my mom had even come up to spectate). I DNS’d Nola and I will DNS Boston (which I wasn’t able to train for, obviously), and a few others But here is the thing: you will run another day. You will have a better race. We do this for fun, glory, and performance. Why not give yourself the best possible chance at all three?
PS would love to have you link this up for Running Coaches Corner!
Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…Natural Electrolytes for Endurance: Running Coaches Corner (Giveaway)
You are so right, Susie. Thank you for this!
I’ve had a couple DNS and they aren’t fun at all. Part of my brain knew they were the right decision and there would be more races in the future but the other part was disappointed and couldn’t help to feel like a bit of a failure….even though I wasn’t. Take it easy and hope you feel better and get better. Also, feel free to text me anytime as an alternative to Dr. Goggle 🙂
Kate @ Kate Lives Healthy recently posted…WIAW #94
Thank you, Kate!! I will definitely take you up on that!
Oh Nicole, I’m so sorry. Forget about the DNS. It’s one race. Just hurry up and heal up and get better. Hang in there!!!
Rachel recently posted…Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate! [Running Coaches’ Corner]
Thanks, Rachel!
That is definitely a hard decision but your health does come first. I hope you get some answers soon and feel better.
Alicia recently posted…My First Yoga Retreat: MIMM#65
Thank you!
A DNS would always be preferable over an DNF for me, because a DNF could mean putting your health at danger. Never worth it! I’m sorry to hear you had to DNS, but at least you avoided those terrible conditions! Period issues are never something to mess with either. I hope your sonogram comes back with a clear and hopefully good diagnosis and that all is well! In the meantime, heal up and enjoy your extra rest 🙂
Laura @ This Runner’s Recipes recently posted…A Runner’s Love Hate Relationship with Strength Training
You are so very right. Thank you so much!
Hi Nicole!!! The runner in me feels your pain. That would have been such a hard decision!!! I am so glad you shared this, because if I ever find myself in the situation of possibley not racing due to health reasons, I can remember this. Sometimes we never find out if we made the right decisions or not, but it definitely sounds like you did. I hope that you feel better soon and are able to find out what is wrong. I send lots of hugs and love! XOXO – Sarah
Sarah recently posted…My next Race-cation Plans, Portland Style!
Thanks, Sarah! Miss you!
So sorry to hear about all your health issues. 🙁 DNS is tough. I had my first DNS for a half ironman I set out to do a few years ago. I had like 15 races that year before the half ironman, and I just got to the month of the race exhausted. I knew I wouldn’t perform well and my body was telling me that I needed to rest. I’ve had a few more DNS’s from there, but the first was definitely the hardest!
Chrissy @ Snacking in Sneakers recently posted…Ground Beef Quesadillas
A half ironman is definitely not something you want to test your luck on if you aren’t feeling top notch. I’m glad you listened to your body!
You definitely made the right decision. It’s so hard but your health should be your first priority. I know that being an active person myself having someone tell you or realizing you shouldn’t workout is one of the worst feelings ever. It’s like you’ve lost something you love. But you’ll get after that medal next time! And hopefully it will be much warmer!
Thank you so much, Patricia! It’s been a real struggle having to DNS and not being able to workout, but I know it’s for the best.
Nicole, I hope you feel better. Races will come and go, but your body is forever. Dont give it a second thought. Hope everything turns out ok 🙂
AutumnPTW recently posted…3 Workouts I’m Too Old For
Thank you, Autumn!
I love your transparency with this. I bet a lot of people have gone through the same thing so good for you for making a smart decision, even if it’s not what you wanted. Best wishes with you health girl!
Thank you!
In the long run, a DNS is way better than making things worse for yourself health wise. Hope you feel better soon!
Kathryn @ Dancing to Running recently posted…Why Now Isn’t The Time for a Marathon
You are very right. Thanks, Kathryn!
So many hugs to you. I have my own DNS post to write, and quite frankly, I don’t know if I would rather the DNF or the DNS. I’m still incredibly upset and unsettled over mine and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to shake it anytime soon.
As far as the health issues, as I’ve gotten older, my time of the month has been brutal. We are talking so heavy that I will actually be gray. My OB isn’t particularly concerned, although they have started talking about an ablation (which I don’t want), and I have done my best to counter it with lots of extra iron. That being said, it does occasionally hit during races, and it’s incredibly hard to push through the discomfort, inconvenience, fear of leaking and weakness.
You’ll be back! I know it!
Jenn recently posted…wednesday word & april goals
Ugh – that doesn’t sound fun at all! I hope you get to the bottom of all of those issues! I’ve been taking extra iron supplements this past week, as well.
I am so sorry to hear this! It sounds like you made the best decision based on what your body needed and on how crazy the weather was! I hope you get some answers on what’s going on soon. I know it must have been hard to share your story, but I’m sure that people out there are going through the same thing you are and will appreciate reading about your experience.
Kristen recently posted…GNT Training: Week 2
Thank you, Kristen!
100% best decision!!! Your health is #1 and comes first. There will always be other races (plus, it looked BRUTAL out there!) . I hope everything is okay and you are feeling better!! xoxo
Natalie recently posted…Sweet Potato Protein Smoothie
Thank you!
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having health issues and I appreciate your complete honesty about your condition. I still can’t believe how crazy that race turned out – I think that you absolutely made the right decision. Of course it’s tough for us to be okay with that, but your health is most important! I hope you’ll be feeling better soon 🙂
Janelle @ Run With No Regrets recently posted…Goals for the Philly Love Run Half Marathon Relay
Thanks, Janelle! I hope you have a good race this weekend!
Nicole, I am so proud of you for listening to your body! It can be really difficult as an avid exerciser to listen to your body and not your brain want you to push on! What motivates us to get out there and get going and go for that run or go left when we are tired is also working hard at times not only physically but mentally as well because that drive makes us feel bad for not exercising when we can at times it is much better to rest now and to heal now see you can exercise later and for the rest of your life then to push on and then not be able to exercise for a longer period of time stay strong xoxox
You are right, Amber. Thank you so much!
Sometimes not starting something is the right thing to do. Women’s intuition is a real and powerful thing. Keep listening to it. It’s always fight, and do were you in not running that one. Get well soon!
Leslie handler recently posted…I’m Almost Famous!
Thanks, Mama 🙂
It sounds like it was a really tough decision, but it also sounds like the right one. There will always be races, so your health and well-being needs to take first priority! I honestly wish I hadn’t run my goal half a few weeks ago. My heart & head weren’t in it, and I didn’t want to do it. But I did and was miserable the whole race, which ended my training on a sour note. It’s usually best to trust your instincts! Hope all’s well with the test results.
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